Summer Fun

Journal Entry: Summer 2016

We just returned from Ecuador and it was such a beautiful trip. I loved every moment but the one that stand out are being by Larry’s side at the hospital. He had altitude sickness and we rushed him to be taken care of. The hospital had a strict policy of ‘family only’. The minute I knew I needed to write ‘wife’ to stay with him at the hospital, I sure one day I would be his family.

That night in the hospital was so scary. I was hurting inside but trying to be strong for him. My first dinner in Ecuador was from the vending machine, one piece of our adventure.

The night of the rehearsal party was a rupture for us. He decided to share with me his fears and I felt like he was breaking my heart – right there at his family’s party. That miscommunication has led to many more open conversations. Including the next morning when I asked his fears: Finances, living in a small apartment and that will we change after we are married.

The wedding in Ecuador was so wonderful. The way he looked at my in that Hermes dress he bought me, as if he has never seen a woman before. He even said he were scared to take a photo as it might break the camera.  My handsome man, James Bond! It was really fun watching the wedding from the side window and having him hold me up so I didn’t wobble over. Dancing with him, laughing with him, whispering sweet thoughts to him – the whole day was so full of love.

Ecuador Wedding

The next day we toured downtown and the churches were so beautiful. Lunch at a beautiful historic hotel was so special since we were able to be alone and share some delicious food and conversation. Larry’s family was so warm and welcoming. Our first international trip together was incredible. 

Off to Florida we went after the wedding. My mom was so happy we were there for her 70th birthday. Larry was so sweet to her, even when I want to be a jerk, he helps  ground me and see another way to be.

I’m so grateful for 10 days of traveling with Larry and having such a fun, intense, connected vacation.

I’m grateful for feeling so beautiful at the wedding in Ecuador and that he was speechless when he saw me – and I kept catching him staring at me!

10 desires: I desire to let our love grow organically. I desire to be present in each and every moment. I desire to to have a special birthday evening on July 22 where Larry plans something. I desire to find the perfect home for us in or around NYC. I desire to be engaged to him as soon as he is ready to create that loving experience. I desire to continue practicing self care and self love. I desire to talk to him more about our fears and how we can support each other. I desire to continue being vulnerable even when I want to shut my heart. I desire to always make time for my friendships and reach out when I want to just shut down. I desire to continue growing into a woman who loves herself, stands for herself, speaks her truth and puts herself and her desires first.

 

New Orleans

Journal Entry: May 23, 2016

Playing in New Orleans with you is so amazing. Flying here Saturday and going straight to a wonderful dinner at Irene’s. Sitting in that piano bar and then in that dark corner, just you and me and our sense of adventure. Walking home on Bourbon Street, stopping in the bar for a beer and photos with the locals – so fabulous.

Yesterday we didn’t stop. I love how we both awake at the same time. Trying on lingerie for you was so special. You make me feel beautiful and adored all the time. You are an amazing man. I’ve never had a man pick out lingerie for me and buy it so we can take it home. I’m really the luckiest girl in the world!

Our cocktail tour was so full of knowledge and exploration. I love our sense of wanting both in life. Seeing all the restaurants and secret rooms was so special.  

Dinner at ACME was to die for – those grilled oysters. Sitting at the bar with you is so sweet since we get to be close.

Today our bike tour was awesome. Seeing all the homes – seeing how cute you were on the bike. Me trying to not fall off. haha

First texts

October 2015 I was online dating and seeing what kind of men were out there. Bumble had been around less than a year and I had be online dating for more than ten! I explored Match, Jdate, Bagel meets Coffee, Tinder, Okay Cupid – and hundreds of dates later I found my match. I was his first online date – so you never know!

Here are our first texts back and forth…

Spring is in the air

April 2016

For Easter I decided to create a new tradition since neither of us celebrate it. I created our first “sexy easter egg hunt” which included 10 plastic eggs filled with sexy toys and 2 ‘golden eggs’ with sexy notes. He is one lucky man who plays along and has so much fun with me.

One April weekend I went to my cousin Catherine’s baby shower while Larry saw a basketball game with the guys. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world when he walked in to pick me up. I was the girl who had her man picking her up! Somehow this was a big moment for me. I wasn’t the woman going home alone to eat herself to sleep anymore.

I am a woman who’s partner comes over with beautiful flowers in every color since he isn’t sure which I would like best!

Soul Mates

Journal Entry: April, 2016

A few weeks after our trip to Chicago we were sitting around and decided to take the 5 Love Language quiz together. We both really wanted to know more about loving each other. It turns out I’m dating a man who takes love quizzes and pulls Goddess cards!

We discovered that I receive love through Acts of Service and Quality Time. He receives love through Touch and Quality Time. This really makes sense and fits us so well together. Thankfully! 

To Larry: When you said I was your soulmate it blew my mind. We found our soul mates Larry! You were made to be my man, my love. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy and loving you. It’s like I create the dreams and you make them happen. I have NEVER met anyone like you. EVER. You take care of me in every way.

So some things are sacred and our intimacy is one. I feel so safe and honored with you loving me the way you do. Truly blessed to my core. 

I’m grateful that you love me so deeply, my heart, my mind, my body. I’m grateful you leave me sweet notes to remind me of your love.

 

Sunny South Florida

Journal Entry: March 2016

Larry expressed his interest in meeting my family and even purchased our tickets for a week in Florida. We landed in Ft Lauderdale on Wednesday evening with Bosley, my 15 year old pup, on my back. After shaking sweaty hands with our rental car agent we were off. 

Pulling into Uncle Bob’s driveway I was so proud to be bringing him home. I knew my family would open their hearts to him and they really did. 

Having him meet my friends and family was so special. My mom fell in love with him just by seeing how happy I was. Uncle Bob was so impressed with his manners and worldly view. My uncle’s wife loved his firm handshake. I love everything about his big heart. We fished with my sister and brother in law, we spent time with my mom, brother & his adorable kids and we had beautiful meals with good friends. 

Lying awake at night and seeing him sleeping next to me in the bed I’ve always been alone in was just a dream. 

Since I was young my uncle and I took beach walks together. The last time I took that walk with Uncle Bob was November 2015 and sobbed to him that I was dating and putting myself out there but about to give up. At that time Larry and I were actually texting but I could never have known the connection we would have at the time. Fast forward to March 2016 and he was walking with us. This time walking with Larry on ‘our beach walk’ it was so surreal, yet so perfect.

Meeting Larry’s great uncle and aunt who lived near my family was so sweet. When I heard his age my heart stopped for a moment, I kept thinking, I might only have 40 more years with Larry – this isn’t enough time.

Later that night we were sitting at dinner with my family and the couple next to us got engaged.  Larry leaned over and said to me “Want me to grab that Will You Marry Me Sign since they are done with it. Would that cheer you up?” I knew he were serious and he knew I would have said YES. Laying besides him each night, resting my leg over his, feels like we should lay like that forever.

I’m grateful for how wonderfully we travel together and for how much fun we have. I’m grateful for the quiet moment we have. We have the most wonderful love story unfolding and it was so worth waiting for.

 

Chicago Style

Journal Entry: My Anniversary with Larry, March 10th, 2016

Our weekend in Chicago was so amazing. Larry was flying me home to meet his family and see his town. He wanted to be sure I had the perfect “Chicago pizza” so even after walking an hour to the shop, he realized we were not at the original pizza place he thought it was. He had us jump in a cab and go to the exact pizza place he desired to take me. This is a man who gets things right and doesn’t settle for less. 

Getting to know his family was so special. Every morning his dad brewed me a beautiful cappuccino which made me feel just as loved as when Larry makes me coffee in the morning.

One afternoon we drove to Woodstock, IL to have lunch with his aunt.  On our drive he asked me what kind of wedding I dreamed about and I was shocked. First of all, what man asks his new girlfriend about a wedding and second, I realized I never thought about a wedding. I wanted to wait and find my partner then create the marriage and ceremony that represents us.

During lunch he slipped out to take a call and and I had a nice chat with his lovely aunt. We explored town and headed back to his families home to enjoy the rest of our time with his dad, stepmom and younger sister. 

After flying home, I realized he left me at lunch with his aunt to pick me out a gift which was now in my suitcase! A beautiful little bird necklace that I fell in love with at the town shop. This just reassured me of how sweet, thoughtful and generous he was. He truly wants the people around him to be happy and feel loved.

I’m grateful to be with such a thoughtful man and for each and every experience we’ve had the past few months. 

Valentines Day 2016

Journal Entry: February 14th, 2016

I received so much love on our first Valentine’s Day. My sweet man gave me two ‘love’ trinkets and said ‘You deserve more love in your home and in your life and that’s why he’s here’. He made me coffee and we had a beautiful morning together. 

Later that day we went to his house and I was throwing something in the garbage. I looked down and saw a bunch of red cards and found that he had written my card THREE times until it was exact words he wanted to give me. I took them all out of the garbage since they make me feel even more loved!  Such a thoughtful man! 

Never Bored on Another Date

These questions have no right or wrong answers. Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer. I use these when getting to know men – please do the same!

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Which is worse, failing or never trying?
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Why are you, you?
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
What are you most grateful for?
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
If not now, then when?
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Two Month with Larry

Journal Entry: February 10, 2016

Today is two months from my first date with Larry. I am shocked to say how well we know each other and what a beautiful relationship we are creating. 

When walking to our first date I called a friend to talk me off the ledge and declared it was my LAST DATE and was taking a break from dating. When I walked into that coffee shop and saw him I complimented him, gave him a kiss on the cheek and knew I was going to see him again. 

He’s flying me to Chicago next week to meet his family and us to Florida next month to meet him.When I asked him if I should pay him back for the flights ( I was so nervous to bring this up for fear of his answer) he said “Honey, our relationship is moving forward and that means my money is your money.” Wow that is the most generous thing a man has said to me. 

This is a man who calls to tell me he’s thinking of me which makes me feel so loved. 

I’m grateful I spent the past years finding self-love so I can let him love me. And for all the years I spent dating and searching so I now recognize what an amazing man I have in my life.